The Faith of Showing Up

It is an amazing thing to be used by God, to be His hands and feet.  I have learned from my work here in Guatemala that what God calls us most to do is simply to show up.  That is an act of faith.  I believe that we Christians (especially American Christians) tend to overthink and complicate things a great deal.  We think we must have a master plan, be thinking ten steps ahead, to provide the best help as possible.  There is wisdom to that to be sure, we should be thinking!  But sometimes it tends to paralyze us to the point that we do nothing at all.  The problem is too big, we say.  It is like not feeding a hungry person because we can’t solve the problem of world hunger.  It’s not taking a step to help somebody in need at the moment because that help is not sustainable or we might begin a cycle of dependence (as if we’re not all dependent on God to provide for us in the first place).  We think of all these bigger problems and it keeps us from taking that first step, just to show up and see how God moves.  It’s okay not to have a grand plan.  It’s okay to be unsure of why you are even there.  

I have seen God use me in this way over and over again.  Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing, sometimes lacking even a clear objective, but I visit a house, I show up, and little by little I find God blessing that person, that family, through these visits.  It is God that does it, of that I’m sure.  In any particular moment I may not feel His hand, but when I look back, I see how He has directed me ever so subtly.  This happens EVEN WHEN I DON’T FEEL PARTICULARLY “IN THE SPIRIT” as the phrase goes (though if we are Christian the Spirit is with us always, even if we choose not to be aware of it).

I write all this not to pat myself on the back, but to show how amazing God is.  He uses me DESPITE my weaknesses.  I struggle with bad attitudes and low faith.  Sometimes Maria and I show up to a house after a day filled with disputes and conflicts with each other.  Sometimes we show up at a LOW or a valley in our walk with Him.  But God uses us even in that state.

On one particular hard day, we showed up to the house of a girl we were thinking about putting in the scholarship program.  It was the end of the day, we were tired, feeling defeated, but we went.  That day the girl decided to open her heart to us, sharing how her dad had died from alcoholism, and she wanted to continue in school to help her mom.  Maria felt moved to give her a hug and we prayed for her.  She is now receiving a scholarship from WIND.

If we wait to be in the perfect mood or attitude to do good, we will miss so many opportunities and ways God wants to use us.  He wants to use us right here, right now.  Even if we don’t have a plan or a great attitude in the moment.

Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. (Romans 6:13)

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, that God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

I write this as an exhortation to fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  SHOW UP!  Do you know somebody in need but not sure of how you can help?  Do you know somebody who is struggling but don’t know what you can say?  Perhaps God put these people in your path for a reason and what He is asking you to do is simply to show up.  Do so while praying, do so being open to the Holy Spirit inside you.  GOD WILL USE YOU!  That has been our experience.

I hope in the coming weeks to share a few stories, how the Spirit has led us to certain people, how we have had the honor to be a part of answers to prayers, and how God has been glorified through it all.  

Our New Home

After returning from our honeymoon, we spent a weekend with the girls before beginning a stressful moving week.  Maria´s mom and sister changed homes with us and now all 7 of us are settling into our new home.  This house in San Cristobal (a town just west of Guatemala City) has been a tremendous blessing for all of us.  The owner is a God fearing man and has been very supportive.  He gave us a good deal on the house as well as leaving furniture for us to use.  It has enough space for all of us to live comfortably and we love our location.  We are within walking distance to just about anywhere we need to go, which is good since we do not have a car.  There is an 8 lane swimming pool next door and I am excited to see what opportunity there might be for giving classes.  We also are close to Journey Church, the church we attend which is full of American missionaries.

The condominium where we live is full of playmates for the three kids.  Naty and Sofy have played outside everyday with our neighbors since moving here.  It has been nice eating dinner together as a family every night and we are starting to get into our routine.

As I survey my new surroundings, I ponder our path.  What is God teaching us, where is He leading us?  What people has He put in our path?  I pray for wisdom to help lead the family in the right direction and strength to fight my own demons that get in the way.  I pray for the environment of the home, that it is filled with love, patience, forgiveness, and a longing for God.
       

Our Wedding

 Our wedding took place on July 19th. It was a blessing to have so many people travel to come celebrate with us. I had family and friends fly in from Seattle and a lot of Maria’s family was able to drive three hours from Guatemala City. We also had a few friends come from Cotzal, the town where we work. The same pastor that officiated my sister’s wedding, Ralph Rowland, flew from Seattle to lead the ceremony and the worship band from our new church, Journey Church in San Cristobal, was able to perform some songs. It was a blended and unique mix of people that God brought together for this occasion. My groomsmen were my best friend Adam and my brother in law Sean. Maria’s bridesmaids were my sister Amanda and her sister Clara. Maria’s best friend Guisela was our professional photographer. Micah, my almost 2 year old nephew served as the ring bearer. While looking a bit confused for part of his walk, in the end he ran right to me and handed me the pillow! Our daughters Natalia and Sofia were beautiful as the flower girls. We walked into the ceremony with the song “A Thousand Years” from the twilight movie and later our church worship leader sang the song “Oceans,” a song of great significance to us. It is a song about living in faith and walking on the water in midst of uncertainty. Ralph read our story that I wrote while my friend Carlos translated:


On January 1st, 2013, my dad led our family to write a big prayer for that year on a notecard and then put it under ground to be revisited when the year was over. I wrote: “My big prayer for this year is to provide a partner to go through life with and that you would make it clear when it came to making a decision.” When I reread what I wrote one year later, I broke into tears. I had not remembered the prayer but God had answered it in a big way. In 2013, God changed my life. 

My strong and loving father was about to have open heart surgery and on February 5th, I returned home to be with my family. I did not expect God to put a woman on the plane beside me who would remain at my side to this day. On that day, I felt the Holy Spirit come over me in a way I had never felt before. We began talking and before long, we were sharing deeper and deeper, the conversation flowing between Spanish and English. I shared with her a Bible verse I had been contemplating: Blessed are the poor in the Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. She began to cry and felt God was calling her to a greater intimacy with Him. At the airport we agreed to do lunch together but lost each other after going through customs. I was astonished to find that we had the exact same gate at the huge Dallas airport. Now God was just having fun. I ran through the airport and we talked some more before her flight took off. I wrote in my journal that day how it was amazing how I felt like I could spend the rest of my life talking with her. Little did I know, I would be. 

The next time I saw her, she picked me up from the Guatemala City airport when I returned to do missionary work. From February to July we talked almost every day on the phone, reading the Bible together, and sharing deeper things about our lives that we had never shared with anybody before. She was the first person in my life who I felt I could truly share anything with. She visited me in Cotzal a few times and I visited her in Guatemala City. I met her children and felt a strong connection with them from the first moment I saw them. She came and visited me in Seattle in August and then pn a trip to Guatemala in October, I traveled with Maria and the girls up to San Juan Cotzal. I was amazed how God used Maria in the homes and how Majo, Naty, and Sofy felt so comfortable in this foreign setting. Before returning home, Maria and I prayed together and during an indescribable moment, God made clear to us that we were to do ministry together.

That November, Maria traveled to come visit me in Seattle. I greeted at the airport with flowers, got down on one knee and proposed to her while people around clapped and cheered. Since then, we have been preparing for life together. We feel called to live our lives in service to God and feel like we are together for an eternal purpose. We are planning on serving as missionaries here in Guatemala for at least a year while we ponder a transition to the United States.

Pastor Ralph shared a message about the beatitudes in Matthew 5. He talked about how they were ways of being, not just doing. He encouraged us to be poor in spirit, to be meek, and to be peacemakers, and our marriage will be blessed.

I said my wedding vows in English while Maria said hers in Spanish and we surprised the girls with heart necklaces with 1 Corinthians 13 inscribed with the date of our wedding. It was a symbol of our commitment to them as part of this new family, a touching and beautiful moment. We lit a unity candle with the song “How He Loves” playing in the background and we walked out to the song “You make beautiful things.”

At the dinner both Adam and Amanda gave wonderful wedding toasts and we did our first dance to the song “Fear is Easy, Love is Hard” by Jason Gray. Afterwards I shared a special dance with my mom while Maria danced with her mom. The dancing went late into the night as Clara and her friends spiced up the night with some Latin flavor. It was a party to be remembered, two cultures coming together, dancing and celebrating a new creation of God. My 23 month old nephew stole the show though, dancing in the middle of the circle, clapping and stomping his feet while spinning in circles.

It was a very special day and to see three distinct cultures represented and celebrating with us was amazing. Our story is God’s story. It is a story of redemption, a story of how God can take brokenness in our lives and make us whole. It is a story of how our superficial cultures melt away when looking at deeper manners of the heart. We are all sinners who need Jesus and we all can celebrate together when God begins something beautiful.